You wander into your apartment and drop your purse on the floor.  Thoughts of disbelief float through your head.  The entire way home you kept thinking that you would wake up in a cold sweat, wipe your brow and settle into your bed, knowing it was just a terrible dream.  What the hell were you thinking!  You live paycheck to paycheck as it is!  You certainly can't afford a sabbatical.  You slump into your chair but half way into its cushiness, you stop yourself and rise back up to get a bottle of wine.  You sink back into the chair, bottle in hand and stare blankly at the dark television screen.   Panic begins to set in.  What are you going to do.  You take a huge swig of wine an gulp it down, blinking hard as the bubble sneak up the back of your sinuses.  Maybe I could tell him I was on medication, or just under a tremendous amount of stress.  You take another huge swig of the red fruity wine...it goes down a little easier this time.  Maybe I should go back!  You sit upright in the chair.  That's it.  I'll go back and tell him it was all just a huge mistake.